subsequent
pregnancy
It is very important to complete grieving for the baby you have just lost
before conceiving again. Unresolved grief after
a miscarriage can lead to postnatal depression after the birth of a baby
later on. For accurate dating, it is recommended to have at least one
period (four to six weeks after the miscarriage) and preferably more for
physical recovery. Contrary to some doctors, we as a group believe that
even though our bodies are capable of ovulation and conception within
weeks of a miscarriage, it does not follow that we are capable of full
term pregnancy. Our recommendation is to wait at least three to six months
to give ourselves the optimum chance. Research indicates that women experiencing
multiple miscarriages have a higher chance of a successful pregnancy when
given lots of reassurance and emotional and psychological support. One
partner may feel ready before the other and this may be a problem as it
needs to be a mutual decision.
statistics of success
- Couples with no history of miscarriage or if their last pregnancy
was a live birth, have an 80% - 85% chance of a successful pregnancy.
- This only drops by 1% if the last pregnancy was terminated
- Couples who have had one miscarriage still have an 80% chance.
- Those who have had two miscarriages drop to 72%
- Three previous miscarriages drops to 43%
Even those who have more miscarriages will usually have a baby eventually,
if they feel they can continue to try, although hormonal, structural
and infectious causes continue till treated (see 'why
miscarriages happen').
Chance chromosomal abnormalities are unlikely to reoccur. Five percent
of couples have chromosomal abnormalities which are passed on to their
babies. These can be confirmed by blood tests.
common fears
As a result of miscarriage the joyful innocence
of pregnancy is lost. The subsequent pregnancy is often a time of
fear that ends only when the child is safely born. We often have:
- Fear of finding blood in our knickers every time we go to the toilet.
- Worry about any twinge of pain in our abdomen.
- Fear that "overdoing things" will bring on a miscarriage, so we
treat ourselves as if we were extremely fragile.
- Worry that our unborn child will be abnormal in some way. Almost
everyone worries about this, but for people who have had a miscarriage,
the fear of abnormality is often much greater.
- Worry about our emotional detachment from the growing child, e.g.
refuse to think about baby names.
- Fear about buying or borrowing baby clothing and equipment.
coping with fear
- Use the time before you try getting pregnant again, to build yourself
up physically. Really take care of yourself. You deserve it!
- Get lots of emotional support for yourself also. Consider joining
a support group or finding other people who have been through similar
experiences and are thinking about a subsequent pregnancy. It helps
to be able to talk with others who have been there and done that.
Counselling may also be helpful.
- Keep a journal writing down all your fears, tears, hopes and excitement.
Share your feelings with your partner.
- Make sure you really trust your doctor. If you do not feel you are
getting the care you deserve, or they won't take your fears seriously,
consider changing doctors. Do not be concerned with his feelings,
just your own. If you have had multiple miscarriages and live in a
large city, they may have a re-current miscarriage clinic.
pre-pregnancy
- Continue looking after your body. Eat well. Get your weight to a
reasonable level. Try a diet suitable for pre-pregnancy (see www.joyfullivingservices.com/preventingmiscarriage.html)
- To help your body be at its optimum we suggest taking additional
supplements. Some now come in pre-packaged form. You will need Omega
3 and pre-natal multi vitamin & mineral
formula to help your body be at its optimum. Also 400 micrograms
Folic Acid minimum (800 recommended by NZ
midwives and buy from a chemist, not the supermarket, as their dosage
is too low, often only 300) before pregnancy and until 12 weeks
gestation, to help normal development of the baby's nervous system
preventing defects like spina bifida as well as miscarriage. Folic
acid can be taken in a lower dosage for your whole pregnancy if
you wish –
talk to your medical professional.
- Read up on helpful information. Suggestions are listed under 'resources'
e.g. (Miscarriage; Why it happens and
how best to reduce your risks - A doctors guide to the facts.
By Henry M. Lerner, M.D., OB/GYN Amazon)
- You may consider consulting a naturopath or an acupuncturist.
once you become pregnant again
- Try light exercise like walking, swimming, or pregnancy yoga.
- Take time out to relax as much as you can. Try massage, listen to
relaxing tapes or soft gentle music. Go for a walk in the park or
at a beach.
- Go to Websites like SPALS
to help keep you positive.
- Avoid the list of things that can lead to miscarriage.
- Let the housework build up and don't go that extra mile at work,
at least for the first 3 months. Do as little as you can and ask family
and work mates to help out. Tell them how fearful you are feeling.
If possible, give up work for that time at least if you feel too stressed,
as stress is associated with miscarriage.
- Helping yourself will give you more confidence to know that you
have done the best you could for yourself and your baby.
- Dare to be positive if you can. Try visualising yourself holding
your healthy happy baby in your arms or, if it feels comfortable,
buy something for your baby.
- Hang in there! Remember that the odds are firmly in your favour,
even if you have experienced multiple losses. Hopefully your fears
will lessen as the weeks pass.
- Information from the internet; Once the heart beat is seen on a
scan there is only a 4% to 5% chance of miscarriage, depending on
the speed of the heart-beat. It should be 120 to 160 times per minute.
(BMP)
(a compilation of information, some quoted courtesy of Kate Frykberg
& the Wellington Miscarriage Group).
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