helping
ourselves
No matter how much support we receive from
others, no matter how understanding our partner, the misery we feel
after our miscarriage is our own and ultimately we must deal with it
ourselves.
- Face life one day at a time.
- Cry, go with your feelings.
- Think of your needs, put yourself first.
- Get lots of hugs from special people.
- Do not have too many expectations of yourself by thinking this should
be over by now and adding to your anxiety.
- Avoid making major decisions. It will compound your stress and may
not be the right one.
- Indulge yourself for a while - try having a massage or do something
you would not take the time to do normally.
- Ask for what you need. Others will be guessing and may not really
be helpful.
- Be aware that drugs and alcohol can delay the grieving process.
- Writing is helpful, keep a journal or even write a letter to your
baby.
- Do what you feel you can cope with, but know when to stop.
- Even if you don't feel particularly hungry, it is important to eat
and drink at regular intervals to keep your blood sugar stable and
prevent mood swings.
- Practice some form of stress release.
- Try to get out of the house at least once a day.
- Try to take a few days' break away.
- Do not hesitate to seek professional help if you are finding it
difficult.
- Above all, talk, talk, talk over the miscarriage with your partner,
friends, etc.
- Be gentle with yourself. It is normal to grieve and feel sad and
lonely, to think your partner and other children might die, to feel
happy one moment and depressed the next, to feel you are somehow to
blame, to be jealous of other pregnant women and women who don't seem
to care about their children and to feel life is not fair. The intensity
of your emotions will pass. You will get back to a 'new
normal'.
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