differences
Often men say they want to put the ordeal behind
them. If you and your partner deny yourselves the chance to grieve, the
pain will not go away. It is commonly accepted that men find it harder
than women to share their emotions. If you have been brought up with 'big
boys don't cry', how can you change? The starting point must be talking
honestly about your feelings. It is essential to plan time together to
do this.
Because women and men bond differently to
their expected child, they grieve differently. You may become impatient
if you feel ready to move on when she still needs support. It is not uncommon
for women to take up to six months after a miscarriage for healthy grieving
to be completed.
We cannot stress strongly enough that the support you give your partner
now will always be appreciated. Sadly, a lack of it during a miscarriage
can cause long-term relationship friction and even breakdown.
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"I was at a party and was
asked by a group of guys how many children I had. I answered 'seven,
but only one living' and before I knew it I was having an intense
emotional discussion with three men whose partners had recently
miscarried. I was surprised at the depth of emotion and loss that
they felt as my first partner had never been 'there' for me."
Tania |
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For further reading... Miscarriages Hurt
Men Too by Peter Burdon is an ebook about twelve men from around the
world sharing their miscarriage experiences. See
our resource section for more information.
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